This is a big answer to prayer: My cell phone works!
Here's the story, for those of you who care:
Short version: I "baptized" my phone on Sunday night. (By immersion. None of this sprinkling stuff!) The phone, miraculously, still works.
Long version: I answered my phone Sunday night while I was washing dishes. I foolishly decided to finish washing the dishes while I talked, and my phone fell into the dishwater. Thankfully, I was able to get the battery out before it short-circuited; I rinsed off the soap, took apart as much of the phone as I could, and let it dry for a couple of days. (I helped along the drying process by occasionally holding it in front of my hairdryer--on the cool setting!--and by setting it by the side of my computer that generates a warm breeze.) I put the phone back together last night, and, miraculously, it still works!