Campaign Tactics and Poll Workers

Just a few tips if you're running for statewide office:
  1. Don't send voters spam emails. It's bad enough that you and other candidates are filling up their snail-mailboxes with unwanted ads.
  2. If you do send spam email, try to edit it for grammar. (Example of what NOT to do: "As I've said many time's over the last year and half")
  3. If you do the prerecorded spam phone call thing, try to sound like you're confident of your own name. (Example of what NOT to do: "Hi, this is, uhhh, ______.")
  4. Tell us more about what you'll do if elected and less about what your late father did as a statewide official.
And to the local friendly poll workers: I'm very sorry that you were bored out of your mind all day because nobody voted, but that does NOT mean that I have 15 minutes to stand and be lectured on why I should stay close to my parents and why you like your home to be bright--I especially don't have time for that when a large dark cloud is looming overhead, the air smells like rain, my umbrella is in the car, and my dinner is at home getting colder by the minute.

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